The most vivid aspect of my memory, beyond the content (Twinkle Twinkle), the place (my neighbourhood church in St-Jean-sur-Richelieu, QC), and the people (my church community), is the feeling of opening time and space to experience something out of the ordinary in community, through the act of presence, listening, and being with each other, in trust.

My path and training as a classical musician has forged dominant ways of being, playing and thinking. Training one on one with my teachers, countless hours of searching for the right sound and perfecting technique to draw exactly the right intentions, rehearsing with others, communicating through words and music (more or less successfully), and stepping on stage all around the world, have all had a strong influence on how my brain and body feel in flow.

I also fell in the many traps of the classical world. Comparison. Competition for resources, attention, and opportunities. External validation. Extrinsic motivation. In my 20s, I didn’t have the awareness to recognize how much of myself was pulled into those dead ends. I was also struggling with interstitial cystitis, an autoimmune condition, in parallel to competing internationally.

My mindset of overcoming challenges by increasing how intensely I focused my mind and how hard I worked became blatantly unsustainable. I moved from Germany to Toronto in 2011 for what I thought was going to be a short stint back in Canada. That year was pivotal for me. I started a daily ashtanga yoga practice, which I continued for 7 years, and little by little, experienced more wholeness. I became a step-mom and many years later, a mom. And I allowed (not always gracefully) my relationship to my instrument, to music and to the stage to evolve.

I believe the healing process is an intuitive one that unfolds step by step, so that we may embody more wholeness. And from more wholeness, that we may consciously choose who we are, how we can serve, and what we truly want to create.

There are also many traps in the healing world. Quick fixes. The easy way. The one pill. Hiding until we are completely healed. Giving our power to authorities. Just one more ceremony. Opening oneself to way more than we can handle or understand. Etc.

I have come to hold very gently the great vulnerability we each have when on this path of self-awareness. In my practice as a concert artist, I have renewed my purpose to opening time and space so that we may experience something out of the ordinary together, in community, in trust. All the while, holding the respect for each person’s readiness to stepping into the radical self-honesty that is required to touch their truth.

I believe that music and sound are a particular conduit that can facilitate deep inquiry, and that the concert, the act of coming together to be present and to listen, is a powerful experience that still needs fine tuning to offer an expansive opportunity that transforms us.

My work is embodying my wholeness in the present moment and inviting others, through sound and music, to do the same.